Thursday, September 2, 2010

Beauty Queens, Dinosaurs and Carnal Desires

Two weeks back or so, I impulsively participated in an online contest where you had to choose the prettiest girl who I would love to go out on a five star luxury date (and also deserved to become the next Miss Universe). Out of some dozen or so attractive and sexy women of varied colors, I randomly selected three – all tall, gorgeous and good-looking brunettes.

I did not even bother to read their names, which country they belonged to or what they did for a living - instead leaving my better judgement to what looked nice to my eyes or rather what I considered which one had the best physical attributes! don’t get me wrong and call me a debauched lecher. With a client meeting to attend in 20 minutes, I obviously did not have the time to spare and besides, the contest had already received some 6255 entries!

Anyway, I get a call yesterday from a husky sounding woman who informs me that I am one of the lucky winners (out of the 10000 participants or so). But before you think that I have indeed won a blind date with this year’s Miss Universe 2010 – an exotic Mexican hottie named Ximena; the hard truth is a dampener – forget the first prize, I am not even amongst the top 10 winners but belong to ‘the consolation prize’ group. As evident from the name, the organizers idea of consoling me was to gift me a smart pair of jeans wear and 4 cans of foul smelling deodorants which they claim have the power to turn ON all women of the planet - crazy with carnal desires. Either, these guys had erroneously sent me 4 small cans of an insecticide or maybe, women really have weird & odd turn ons.

I come back home, switch on the telly and hop on to the Discovery channel. And what do I see – a slick documentary on courtship, sex and evolution. Have you ever been inexplicably attracted to someone completely outside your usual realm of possibilities, the host asks? It seems human beings aren't the only ones who have surprised themselves. I am told that the spiky horns and clubbed tails of dinosaurs evolved not only for protection, but to also equip them for vicious sexual battles between rival males.

In fact, it seems dinosaurs also indulged in beauty contests like humans, flaunting a bizarre array of quills, crests, ruffs and frills. The giant (and apparently mischievous) Diplodocus even sported a whip - perhaps for cracking dramatically as part of a courtship ritual!

And to prove that we did, somewhere along the line, evolve from the animal kingdom, I am told that the Hadrosaur had a one-metre high crest protruding from its head which acted like a natural trombone. Just think of the noisiest guy you know and multiply the sound by about 50. The female dinosaurs were it seems most attracted to the male Hadrosaurs with the deepest voices.

This all happened 65 million years ago. So, taking into account some million, million years of human evolution, one can only surmise from the laws of nature, that it's not entirely our fault if we pick the wrong partner. The laws of attraction it seems are now governed not only by considered choices of our own, but partly by our 'still alive' animal instinct and also by foul smelling, sex inducing deodorants. And, of course, an utterly fab denim outfit too!


  1. Artificial pheromones always play a role in courtship and mating in both human and non-human entities. These documentaries which you have mentioned dole out interesting observation and information. All animals have their way of seducing eligible mates. There are even homosexual tendencies in animals where males/females try to attract members of their sex through display of talent, pheromones and skill. It does make an interesting study if you choose to delve deep.

    But let me ask something out of curiosity: If you had time to spare, why choose to try some vague online contest?

    Joy always,

  2. I've been guilty of making judgment calls based on looks before, I think I'm attracted to "dark" men over fairer toned fellows is because I hope to give my offspring a fighting chance in the sun.

  3. thanks Susan. to answer your curiousity, maybe after all my pheromones were at work..getting attracted to all those pretty girls on display!and it looks like you are also an allnighter like me now!

  4. thanks Rachel..have always liked (and envied) a Tarot reader. Would love you to see for me, for Free that is! following you now on Networked blogs and FB too.

  5. You surely have a lot of free time to participate in such contests.. :P. Your post are like snacks no doubt :D and seriously the whole research you did on dinosaurs.. ahem! interesting! rofl!

  6. Great post man. I once bought a bottle of pheromones from a chemist and I think the stink made my dog scared of me. It didn't help with the ladies one bit, and the dog was a male!!

  7. Thanks Shane. Lol! the dog part was hilarious. Pheromones are nothing more than snakeoil..I was gifted one when I turned 20. It was nothing more than plain vanilla water!


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