Relish the Past, Welcome the Future

Remember, the past is always tense, the future perfect 

This week, I was a reluctant invitee to a glitzy Christmas party - a glorified gathering less of friends and more of snobbish acquaintances - dressed in fancy clothes, indulging in fine spirits and ‘artisanal world cuisine’ whatever that actually means. Having arrived directly from my office, I was not only late but also clearly out of place - standing out from the crowd with my disheveled hair, a wrinkled cotton shirt, and crumpled khakis. 

Seeing me obviously lost, my gracious host welcomed me, consciously ignoring my faux paus and tried her best to make me feel at home. So, with a blue cocktail in hand, I mingled a bit -meeting immaculately dressed strangers, making small talk and chit chat until I found a vantage spot to sit with a boisterous Australian middle-aged couple for friendly banter. 

Let me admit, the party was not bad. after all. The décor was flamboyant yet amazing, the floating grilled starters were delicious and the fizzy drinks concocted with consistency although a little too fruity for my taste. If there was something lacking, it was the sugary retro music from the 60s and 70s with a smattering of hits from the 80s and 90s. I wouldn’t normally complain under normal circumstances but the music was a mismatch for the splendorous aura the party was trying to create. 

Listening to some of the music, reminded me of my childhood (Lionel Ritchie, Inxs, Steve Winwood, Pet Shop Boys, a little George Michael and Phil Collins for good measure too) but the rest of it was the sort of soul music my parents sometimes listened to and for a while at least the nostalgia was comforting. But, then, gradually as one aging track faded slowly into the next, it began to dawn on me that I actually wished I was somewhere else entirely. The nostalgia, you see, had run its course and I found myself, as that realization took hold, feeling suddenly wanting and hungry - to listen to current radio hits, anxious for the here, for the now, for the present. Foster the People, Cold Play and even Martin Garrix came to mind but no more Simon & Garfunkel, please. 

Think about it, funny how this struggle often occurs within each of us. Sometimes, longing for what was, faced with what is (and occasionally overcome by dreams of what's next) and sometimes, just longing for the present, for the moment. It's not so unusual really but just illustrates for some of us the motivations behind how we choose to live our lives. 

Looking back isn't such a bad thing and as my Christmas party experience points out - often offers comfort, nostalgia, and a way to stay connected with who we are and where we came from. The danger, however, is in never learning how to move beyond the then, the then of the past. How many of you have known (or know) people like that? The ones who can't ever get over whatever it is they're so connected to, running from, or longing for? Be it work, relationships, family... Sometimes, I think I am one of them. Maybe you are also one of those people, or maybe you just pity and feel sorry for them. 

And, why is it that some of us are able to appreciate our yesterdays, no matter how bad and still move forward. How are some of us able to cull the good from the bad, and thrive in the here and the now? How do we move beyond the then? In truth, who can really say. If I were to attempt an answer of any kind it would be simply that some of us want nothing more than to live. And by live, I mean so much more than life. 

And then, there are those of us for whom life offers so much that we scarcely know where to start – so much excitement, so much exploration, so much energy, so much passion, and so many opportunities. Thus, how can we possibly afford to waste too much time reveling in (or complaining about) the past when there is so much now and so much to look forward in the future.

I guess there are no right or wrong answers but I think our experiences and memories (both good and bad) and our circumstances drive our primary motivations. Very few of us are smart enough to make conscious choices or analytically study the path we choose to explore. Food for thought right? When I look back now, it's amusing how a piece of party music that evening lead me to these complex life-centric questions and surprisingly - ridiculously simple (and probable) answers. 

Lastly, as this is most likely the last blog post of 2018, let me add that this Blog for me (as its curator) - is a labor of opinions, ideas, and passion for web wanderers like you. A little ezine curating the best I can find on the web juxtaposed with my thoughts that I have attempted to keep alive over the years. It’s my creative outlet, my solace, and my escape when nothing else can be and, if I can't do it right, it isn't worth doing at all but I reassure you, I won’t kill it as many of you think I would. And believe me, I do read all your comments (even though I don’t publish them) so don’t stop sending your comments and emails. 

And with that, I won't say anything more other than I trust you'll enjoy the New Year ahead  with postivity as much as you nostalgically savor and relish the year that just went past by and all the ones before it. As the existentialist Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once said, our life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Aloha and wishing you a happy 2019 with lotsa fun, joy and success!

x

The Mad Pursuit of Happiness and Contentment

Finding Happiness needn't be that hard, after all 

It is rather ironic, that I would choose the above title for this blog post. In fact, I've had this title lingering idly on my laptop with vague views of how to title this post for a number of weeks now. Russia had such a happy effect on me but paradoxically, of late, that much needed happiness - for me - has seemed to be or become somewhat elusive again. Just like failing to post any new blogs the last few weeks after the new found rush I rediscovered in October.

The Dalai Lama wants us to believe that happiness is more than a state of mind and that it is a way of life, and so on. Of course, he mostly linked it with religion and spiritualism. For me, I have no such notions about gods or religions or getting karmic illuminations leading to divine joys. There might be a heaven and there might be a god too but like my greasy kebabs, I want my happiness, right here on earth, not in heaven after I die. 

Happiness, it seems such a simple thing but how often many of us struggle trying to desperately find it in our lives – both personally and professionally. And, often we fail to realize how tied we are to the conditioned views of happiness being so entangled and reliant on upon the close relationships we make with others around us – our loved ones, our parents, our friends, our colleagues…this list can be perennially extending based on how we perceive how important these connections matter to our happiness. 

While on the surface this may seem accurate, I have come to realize that it’s a mad pursuit when in fact, it's definitely not how you achieve a persistent state of sustained happiness. But, rather happiness and fulfillment in my opinion (based on my own costly experiences), is a combination of multiple wisdoms or realizations (and I shall borrow from the Dalai Lama again) of worldly satisfaction, wealth (and we're not just talking about the money alone), spirituality and eventual enlightenment to look beyond your flaws. And when I say spirituality I am referring to realize and analyze oneself, not necessarily getting religious. 

While all these critical elements are essential factors in the quest for happiness - it is how those factors are deployed and the state of mind of the individual wielding them that will determine whether or not a contented and satisfying life can be enjoyed. You can become a happiness magnet only when you employ these correctly. After all, ultimately, we are each responsible for our own contentment and the personal mindset how we level upon the world is the cornerstone of whether we fail or succeed in this pursuit. 

Some of you may wonder what does any of this have to do with an erratic blog like this one? Actually, a great deal. Maintaining and writing this blog brings me, much personal happiness. It is one of the many escape mechanisms I employ (besides my work, my music, and my photography) to find fulfillment when other options fail. And, while this blog may not be anyone's baby but mine, it does make me happy. And thus, that happiness eventually, I like to think - carries over to those around me and those living in the far-flung corners of the world reading this blog. 

And as you may have noticed, it would seem that I've managed to momentarily zig-zag my way back to a point as I so often do, where I can now safely say a few words about why I am still telling you all this. 

Well, much in my life today is in a state of continuous flux and I have no idea really where I might be a year from now or even a few months from now and if all my hallowed musings here on finding happiness and contentment will have amounted to anything at all. Nonetheless, there are some things I remain quite certain and hopeful of - and that is I will find my happiness wherever I may be or whatever I am doing at that time. You should too. And you should be hopeful. 

Hope is not a bitch, we simply give up sooner and just don’t try hard enough. May each of you find your happiness and whatever joys you seek. And as I read it somewhere, enjoy the pursuit to your happiness, as it just might be your greatest source of your happiness after all.