Why a Woman Should Ask a Man Out?
What’s wrong with a woman asking a Man out? This was question posed to me by a former female colleague who was complaining that a guy she had been eyeing for months had coldly vetoed her proposal for an evening date. She felt humiliated, she rued. And she was asking me (of all people) for an answer.
I really didn’t know what to say. Maybe, she shouldn’t have asked the man out. This isn't because I believe it's the divine role or godly duty of man to do the asking out but maybe, he just didn’t like her.
Or maybe quite simply, asking out a member of the opposite sex requires the kind of self-esteem that allows you to cope with even a dash of rejection. Put another way, most of us are cowards, not willing to muster the courage to ask a man (or a woman) out. So, when we eventually make the attempt and fail, we turn into inconsolable cry babies.
And of course, being the one that's chased is not without benefits. You get to feel like royalty, you call the shots, you decide the time, you decide where to go - you can play the mystery card until you decide when to stop and you're under no obligation - after all they asked you out didn't they?
But times are a changing (I sound so old when I say that - but it's true they are!) In fact I could count how many times a very handsome friend of mine has been 'chased' in the last two years alone. Maybe it's the self-confident, assertive women who do the asking out that are starting to nab all the decent guys first. Lucky them.
If you are a woman, you may wonder why asking a guy out is such a big deal? All you have to say is, 'd'ya fancy going to the pub tonite?' Just like you would to a pal. It's not like you're offering him sex, or asking him to marry you or anything serious like that. All you're suggesting is that you get to know each other a bit better - take it or leave it.
But then let's face it; there aren't all that many warm, funny, intelligent and damn fine-looking men out there. So if you do come across one of these rare specimens, you need to get in there - quick.
And you need to be obvious. Most men don't understand subtlety. If you opt for hanging around him, fluttering your eyelashes and acting coy, he won't interpret this as flirting, he'll just think you've are a nervous tic. Perhaps, clearing the way for some other, more obvious (and self-assured) lady to steam in there. She might not be as attractive or pretty as you, but at least he'll know where he stands. Besides, confidence is a huge turn-on - show me a guy who wouldn't be flattered by the attention, and I'll show you a goddamn liar.
And finally, let’s deal with the rejection. So what if he knocks you back? Maybe he wasn't simply attracted to you - but you know what they say, one man's meat is another man's poison. Believe it or not, there are guys out there who don't fancy Angelina Jolie or Aishwarya Rai. Not many, admittedly, but you get my point. So, if you are the kind who has been recently vetoed down – don’t take it personally, put it behind you - and move onto the next one. And when the time is ripe, ask him out! You never know, he just might say YES.
What do you reckon? Should men still do the asking out? Or should sisters start doing it for themselves? [This post has been selected for this week's Tangy Tuesday Picks at BlogAdda]