This is the End (2013)

JohnnyTwoToes is so so hugely disappointed with this misfire!

I must say I was stunned by this film. This Is The End is the newest film from Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg and if they thought people where going to laugh at this film then I must not know what funny is. The cast all play themselves as they converge at James Franco's home for a party. Until that is, the Apocalypse happens and literally all hell breaks loose and the group has to band together to survive while staying at Franco's place. 

With a cast that has Rogen, Franco, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson and Emma Watson (yes, Hermione from the Harry Potter franchise) along with countless other cameos from Paul Rudd to Michael Cera to Rihanna this film should have been a laugh riot. I sat unmoved by anything that happened on screen. Who thought this was funny?

I am definitely no prude, but I have never seen such a gratuitously and unnecessarily vulgar film as bad as This Is The End. There was not one chuckle, not one moment of freshness in this film. If you want to enjoy watching people yell, curse, hurl vile and disgusting comments about perverse sex acts back and forth and for good measure watch people get stoned then this is your kind of film. Stoner films can be done well. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a perfect example. Dazed and Confused is another example. I can still appreciate a clever and wit film about people who do get high. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is another example of how to do a stoner comedy. Sadly this wasn't one.

This Is The End was written by Rogan and Evan Goldberg who also did the screen story based on a short film "Jay and Seth Vs. The Apocalypse". If it was unintelligible as a short film of nine minutes, it is even worse at almost 120 minutes. The film is quite content to let the actors play themselves but they come across as a bunch of jerks. Who would want to hang out with these guys? Is this the image they want to go for. It tries to make a point towards the end of the film about being a good person, but it is too little, too late.

And to soil little Emma Watson in this film is unconscionable. She is however, old enough to know better but she is trying to break the image of being a wholesome little girl. This is not the film for her to break that image. I get that. There is a whole scene as the guys discuss the "Rapey Vibe" when Ms. Watson enters the house. It is not funny, but offensive especially to women who have been victims of rape. 

There is nothing that works in this film, with the exception of Henry Jackman's score. Except for a scene or two, the actors come out as jerks, the script is nonsensical and the film has NO redeeming qualities what so ever. How this garnered the rave reviews it received is beyond me. It cost about 32 million dollars to make it (Rogan and Goldberg asked for more) and brought in over 100 million at the box office. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that. I might have to amend or expand my 'Best and Worst' list of 2013 to throw this piece of crap in there. Do not waste your time. This Is The End-* out of 4

The Return of the Blog

Will be back! 

The Websnacker is out on a unconference at a beautiful tropical island deep in the Andaman sea, disconnected from the wired world and to a large extent, human civilization. Even this is an automated scheduled post. Like the iconic Terminator catchphrase, this blog will be back, very shortly! Trust the Websnacker!

Curve - Come Clean (1998)

A tuneful mishmash of electronic rock and dance music from the 90s

The Electronic Alternative rock band Curve’s debut album, 1992’s Doppelganger, is undoubtedly one of the most underrated albums of the ‘90s. This British duo pioneered the field of mixing gothic darkness, shoegazing dream pop and tuneful dance music, a field later popularized by likes of Garbage (and imitated by countless others). In fact, Curve could re-release Doppelganger (or their celebrated singles collection Pubic Fruit) and still sound more advanced than most of today’s bands. 

Curve took an extended vacation after 1993’s Cuckoo, but later the duo of Toni Halliday (vocals) and Dean Garcia (bass, guitar, programming) officially came back together again to produce this album. Halliday kept busy during the band’s break by working with various techno acts, while Garcia worked on a few film scores. The duo’s 1998 album, Come Clean, proved that their side projects had helped Halliday and Garcia sharpen their skills. In fact, it was not commercially successful but also critically praised.

Come Clean opens with the brilliant single "Chinese Burn", a song Halliday claims is "me talking to my alter-ego, the bad person inside me." Even after so many years, it’s as intense as anything I’ve heard it then. On the second track, "Coming Up Roses," Halliday and Garcia show a little bit of their R&B side. Garcia uses his electronic arsenal to make "Coming Up Roses" slink and slither behind Halliday’s sultry vocal performance. 

Tracks like this are Curve’s specialty – they were one of few bands that can sound as abrasive as Atari Teenage Riot one minute, and as smooth and graceful as Sarah McLachlan the next. Curve embraced remixes and electronic angst back when grunge was all the rage. Now Kurt is dead, Soundgarden has broken up (well, almost), and Bush is doing remix CDs and working on a new a album for a very long time. Sadly, Curve is also no more but its no exaggeration that Curve were ahead of their time. If you have never heard of Curve, start with this album.

Escape Plan (2013)

An Entertaining Popcorn Action Flick that thrives on the superstar chemistry

Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is no longer the Governater of California and can focus on making movies again, we fans are all super elated. We know it won't be My Dinner With Andre or Citizen Kane but as a friend once said to me, "Movies are movies. Film is art. Some movies are made for different reasons, but film is STILL art." I guess there is enough to debate on that issue but Escape Plan is a cool ride. 

Escape Plan stars Sylvester Stallone as Ray Breslin, a master tactician for breaking out of prisons to show their flaws. He is a published author and the hottest commodity for someone testing their new prison facility. He receives an offer of 5 million dollars to breakout of a prison that is "off the grid". Ya know, black ops kind of stuff. The prison is high tech with all of the guards wearing creepy black face masks who carry tazer billy clubs as well as top of the line firearms. This prison supposedly houses the worst of the worst. The kind of scum sucking vermin that no one wants in their prison. So for a nice payday of 5 million dollars, why not? 

Well, nothing goes as planned and Ray is now in a prison with no way out. He does not even know where he is for help to come and find him. SNAFU'd. He meets Rottmayer (Schwarzenegger), a fellow inmate who seems to know more about Breslin than he lets on. The prison is run by Warden Hobbes (Jim Caviezel) who speaks very softly and has many big sticks at his disposal, most notable Drake (Vinnie Jones). It isn't long before Ray begins to look for a way out with the help of Rottmayer. Escape Plan is fun, I will give it that. 

Directed by Mikael Hafstrom, a Swedish director who has done everything from commercials in his homeland to TV series and miniseries. He has directed a couple of very fine horror flicks, 2011's The Rite with Anthony Hopkins and 1408 a rather excellent film about a doomed hotel room with troubled author John Cusack as the resident. Hafstrom knows how to play the audience and he does it very well here. Revealing little bits of information but still holding back to keep the viewers interested. 

The script, by Miles Chapman and Jason Keller is smart enough to not take itself too seriously but at the same time it is not insulting and the whole cast seems to be having fun. I escpecially liked Caviezel as the smarmy and truly detestable Warden Hobbes. He is firmly in command and is written with brains. These kinds of films are only as good as the bad guy is bad, and Caviezel is a snake. There are some surprises I did not see coming and although some of the humor falls flat, there is enough tongue-in-cheek cheese to keep a smile on your face. 

Arnold and Sly obviously enjoy working together and they have chemistry on screen and Alex Heffes's score is a jubilant mix of synth, percussion and a full orchestra. Escape Plan is so preposterous and over the top that no one can take this seriously and it's not meant to be taken seriously. Therein, is its charm. Overall, Escape Plan is enjoyable in its most ludicrous extremes. Escape Plan *** out of 4  - JohnyyTwotoes

Sinead O’Connor - Faith and Courage (2000)

Not her Best but still worth a listen.

Let's face it. Most of us were fans of the Irish singer Sinead O'Conner. I’m not ashamed to admit that I was also once a big fan of her and I still believe that her first two albums rank among the 100 best releases of the ‘90s. Songs like "Troy" and "The Last Day of Our Acquaintance" prove that O’Connor has tremendous talent, or at least had it once upon a time. 

After her first two albums, though, Sinead completely lost me and most of her other fans. "Am I Not Your Girl" was a complete snooze-fest, and "Universal Mother" was a lifeless compilation that lacked any semblance of passion or melody except a few stellar tracks. To make matters worse, Sinead’s lackluster music was completely overshadowed by the circus of her public life – she shredded a photo of the Pope, was ordained as a priest, and then "converted" to lesbianism or something on those lines.

Ok, the only thing that should matter with Sinead O’Connor is the music, though, so I was encouraged that her 5th album "Faith and Courage" was hailed as the "return" of Sinead O’Connor. The album opens with the pleasant "The Healing Room," but it really gets started with "No Man’s Woman." On this track, O’Connor reveals the amount of pain caused by the men in her life, and she vows to focus on her work instead of her relationships with men. This spirited track has become an anthem for feminists everywhere, and rightfully so. It’s one of the highlights of this album in both lyrical content and musical presentation. 

Other highlights include "Jealous," "Daddy I’m Fine" and "’Til I Whisper U Something," all of which O’Connor co-wrote with Dave Stewart (of Eurythmics fame). With Stewart, O’Connor finally found a collaborator that could bring out her best again. Unfortunately, the non-Stewart tracks on the album suffer in comparison. Faith and Courage falls well short of O’Connor’s first two albums, but the album is much stronger than anything O’Connor had done since those first two releases. There must be a reason why popular online mag - Slant still considers it one of the best albums of the 2000s.

The Lone Ranger (2013)

JohnnyTwoToes reviews the biggest bomb of 2013!

I know this is coming late, but better late than never. Gore Verbinski is a man that can direct the Pirates Of The Caribbean films which are not awful. The first two were enjoyable if nothing ground breaking. The third part 'The World's End' I dubbed 'At Wit's End' for the shear fact that it was so awful and bone crushingly dull I could not bring myself to watch the last one, at all. Verbinski's best film is 'The Weather Man' with Nicolas Cage as a local meteorologist whose career is about to take off, but whose home life is utter ruin. It was a quiet, well written and directed film and exceedingly well acted so it was on my list of 10 best in 2005. 

The Lone Ranger has come and gone. A critical and commercial bomb that has the studio (Walt Disney) losing an estimated 175 million dollars. At least, that is what my sources tell me, anyway. It might make back its money with DVD sales and overseas sales but it will take a while. Verbinski and Johnny Depp who plays Tonto have gone after critics saying it was, "Their Fault" the film was such a bomb. Could it be the film was a stinker because......oh, I don't know........it stunk? I am just guessing. 

Is The Lone Ranger as bad as everyone said it was? No. Is it a misunderstood classic? Helllllll, NO. The Lone Ranger is a perfect example of how NOT to make a big budget extravaganza. With a 225-250 million dollar budget one has to wonder where all the money went. Simply put, The Lone Ranger is an overstuffed and overblown film that suffers, for me, because of the miscasting of Armie Hammer as John Reid (AKA The Lone Ranger). His presence on screen pales in comparison to just about everyone else on screen and for The Lone Ranger to work he has to be a strong character, not a mousy waif. 

In this version, Reid and Tonto are battling Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner) but for added monotony they also are battling the corrupt Latham Cole (Tom Wilkinson). There is the added characters of Reid's slain brother's wife that has a fondness for John Reid but the film does not deal much with it and the only real enjoyable character that seems to be having fun is Helena Bonham Carter's local Cathouse custodian named Red Harrington. 

If I was going to recast this film, I would not hesitate to have cast Johnny Depp as John Reid. He has gravitas and depth that Mr. Hammer does not have. The villains are pretty much your standard bad guys as they snarl and spit their way through two and a half hours of bland dialogue, mundane shootouts and some rather unfunny comedy. 

For the millions of dollars pumped into the budget, there could have been a lot more effort put into the script which has been penned by Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio and Justin Haythe. There should have been more rewrites for the script because what the viewer is left with is a film that is all style and no substance. The Lone Ranger suffers from just too much hype and too much effort into the look of the film rather than a compelling story and a roguish title character. Depp is merely doing a different variation of his Jack Sparrow character from the 'Pirates' films. This is the kind of 'bad' film people can enjoy if you want to swill booze and make fun of it but due to its bloated length the viewers might pass out before they make to the predictable end. 

Still, The Lone Ranger looks great with its cinematography by Bojan Bazelli making good use of the locales and Hans Zimmer's score is a a terrific mixture of electronics, percussion, western guitar and orchestral arrangements that flow very well together. 

And remember, I am one of the few that have actually said this is not an awful film and liked the effort they have put into the look of the film if only the script and the lead where up to snuff with the technical achievements. The Lone Ranger is up for some Academy Awards for the technical aspects I have praised, but for the viewers and Walt Disney, it is too little, too late. The Lone Ranger-** out of 4

Natural Born Killers (1994) - Original Soundtrack

A Defining Movie Soundtrack from the 90's 

Film maker Oliver Stone couldn't have picked a better soundtrack producer for his 1994 ultra-violent cult movie "Natural Born Killers" starring Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Rodney Dangerfield, Robert Downey, Jr., Tom Sizemore, and Tommy Lee Jones than Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor. Reznor, the leader of Nine Inch Nails, was hired to sort through the more than 70 songs used in the film to create this a one of a kind soundtrack that would complement the controversial storyline incidentally based on a screenplay by Quentin Tarantino.

The final product is one of the more eclectic soundtrack compilations ever assembled. In addition to the 27 songs which appear on the disc, snippets of dialogue from 27 different characters in the film can be also heard. How many other discs could feature greats like Patsy Cline, Peter Gabriel, Leonard Cohen, and Bob Dylan with the likes of Rage Against the Machine, Marilyn Manson, Jane's Addiction and Dr. Dre? Fans of every type of music will find something they like on this soundtrack. 

The disc opens with Cohen's "The Miracle" and ends with Tha Dogg Pound's "What Would U Do?" In between, it's a ride through the vibrant landscape of music past and present. Nine Inch Nails is featured on three of the disc's tracks. Two of them, "Burn" and "A Warm Place," are great tracks. There is also a remix of "Something I Can Never Have" from the band's debut album. The new mix of this song includes sound bites by some of the characters in the film, and the dialogue adds to the dark mood of the song. Reznor also remixes the Jane's Addiction song "Ted, Just Admit It." The remix, titled "Sex is Violent," features an interesting section of Diamanda Galas' "I Put a Spell On You." Similarly, the Peter Gabriel track "Taboo" is an exotic affair featuring support for Pakistani Sufi Legend Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan.

While some soundtracks are nothing but boxed collections of the songs you hear in the film, this one stands apart because it captures the tone of the film itself and the music of those days. Although this album never sold as many copies as the likes of other 90 hit soundtracks, say "Forrest Gump" or "Bodyguard" soundtracks, it is more adventurous and creative than either of those. Even after 20 years, there is yet to release an album of such vivid contradictions and extreme variety blended in one soundtrack. Perhaps, with the "Natural Born Killers" soundtrack, Trent Reznor wanted to set the standard by which other future soundtracks would be judged. A challenge that is still to be bettered!

Captain Phillips (2013)

JohnnyTwoToes recommends this taut mid sea thriller based on a true story!

The recent Academy Awards were announced and to my shock and dismay Paul Greengrass' latest film, Captain Phillips was not nominated for the two Oscars is should have been nominated for; Best Actor and Best Director. Every year the Academy is infamous for nominating those who, while excellent were not better than some that were better. To omit Tom Hanks and Paul Greengrass is scandalous. The general consensus by the Academy is that Tom Hanks has been nominated five times and won two so he can go pound salt. But that did not stop the bozos in the Academy from nominating Meryl Streep for her 18th nomination. Yes, you read that right; 18. Paul Greengrass's failure to garner a nomination is anybody's guess. Both are truly worthy. 

Captain Phillips is the true story of the title character and his crew on a Maersk cargo container ship, The Alabama, that was boarded by Somali pirates in 2009 and held for ransom. At least, that was their intent, anyway. Tom Hanks is Captain Phillips. He is a driven, hardworking seaman who knows his business but is uneasy about this trip even before he and his crew cast off. But, they have a job to do, regardless of the dangers. As the journey continues, Phillips's suspicions are confirmed when he sees two boats heading their way only a day or so into the Alabama's journey. Try as they might to stave off the Somalis, eventually they do get aboard. The rest of the film is how Philips tries to bargain his and his crew's way out of their situation. 

Barkhad Abdi is Muse, the lead pirate. "I'm the captain, now," he says sporting an AK-47. Mr. Abdi's performance is excellent. His performance is unpolished and he is not your standard glossy Hollywood villain. Muse and his gang are desperate but Muse is smarter than he is given credit for. Philips has told the crew to hide, "You know the ship. They don't, " he barks into the intercom as Phillips knows it is only a matter of time before they are boarded. What follows is a crisp and intense thriller as Phillips, at gunpoint, is forced to take Muse and his henchmen through the ship searching for the crew. This is the first half of the film. 

The second portion of the film deals with the Somalis taking Phillips on one of the life boats from the Alabama and trying to make their way to shore, where God only knows what they would have done to him. The military had been notified and their one mission was to make sure the Somali's never make it to shore with Phillips. Barkhad Abdi has been nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Is he deserving of the nod? No. Not to say his performance is not worthy, but there are others out there in other films (The Butler and Saving Mr. Banks) that have some great supporting performances that are more worthy of the Academy's attention. 

I only say that because to NOT nominate Hanks is laughable, since both performances are hand in hand, so to speak. Hanks performance is smart, strong, but still maintains his human frailty as you will see in the last 10 minutes or so of just how scared Phillips was. It will bring tears to your eyes. 

Greengrass' direction is solid and he keeps the film humming and Billy Ray's screenplay (based on the book by Phillips himself and Stephan Talty) is a true battle of the wits. Phillips feigns concern for the hijackers safety as he takes them all over the ship but avoids taking them to the hiding crew and Ray's script coupled with Greengrass's artful direction keeps you on the edge of your seat. It is a battle of the wits between Phillips and Muse and it is smart and well written. I made the mistake of reading about this incident and its outcome BEFORE I saw the film. That is a mistake for some. Even though I knew the outcome, it did not affect my reaction to the film. Some might react differently so it is not advised. 

Obviously, if Phillips wrote the book, he survived, HOWEVER, the story of how Phillips was saved is truly amazing, so I will not say anymore. Suffice to say, Captain Phillips is a terrific film; one of the 2013's best films. It is sharp, observant to human nature and a thrilling adventure and if the last 10 minutes don't bring a tear to your eye then you might want to stick yourself with a pin to see if you are breathing. Captain Phillips-**** out of 4

The Best Films of 2013

JohnnyTwoToes compiles the Best Movies of 2013 

2013 did end a month and a half back but there is still time for the lists. In this case, the Best Movies of 2013! Since I have not seen ALL of the big films I will give my own lists of the 5 best and the 5 worst films that I HAVE seen in 2013. So get your cards and there will be a quiz on this tomorrow. Actually, no but read'em and weep. First the 5 best films of 2013.  

5. CAPTAIN PHILIPS - At number 5 is Paul Greengrass's Captain Phillips with Tom Hanks. I have to pen a review for it, but suffice is to say that Tom Hanks shows why he is one of Hollywood's finest actors and director Greengrass has yet to disappoint me with one of his films. Captain Phillips is a riveting and effective thriller based on the true story of a cargo ship taken over by a band of Somali pirates (Maersk Alabama hijacking). The script, direction and Hanks propel this film which pulsates humanity and intelligence in Billy Rays' script based on Captain Richard Phillips' own book of the 2009 incident with Stephan Talty "A Captain's Duty: Somali Pirates, Navy SEALs, and Dangerous Days at Sea"

4. DESPICABLE ME - At number 4 is the Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud directed Despicable Me 2, a 3D computer animated sequel but every bit as endearing and charming as its blockbuster predecessor. This time Gru, the girls and his minions battle a new super villain that is planning to turn Gru's minions into blue eating machines that devour anything in their path as they are unleashed on the world. Kristen Wiig voices Gru's girlfriend, and she is a total delight. Steve Carell, Russell Brand, and Miranda Cosgrove reprise their voice roles too. Rarely do sequels work as well as the original, but Despicable Me 2 is an exception; clever, sweet and wholesome fun for the whole family. 

3. STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS - At number 3 is the twelfth installment in the Star Trek film franchise - Star Trek Into Darkness, a bold and boisterously fun film that pits Chris Pine's Captain Kirk against Benedict Cumberbatch's Kahn as Kahn enacts his revenge against Starfleet. Star Trek Into Darkness proves (as does Despicable Me 2) that you can do good sequels if the script is well written and it is here, indeed. Robert Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof have written a crisp and engaging film, with a perfect cast and director J.J. Abrams takes us on a wild ride that is fun and exciting with some nice twists. Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, Bruce Greenwood and  Leonard Nimoy add to the fun!

2. PRISONERS - At number 2 is Prisoners, Denis Villineuve's masterfully heartbreaking film about the abduction of two little girls in Pennsylvania and the tragic and intense investigation that follows. Hugh Jackman as a father of one of the girls, is terrific as he goes on his own mission to find them. Feeling helpless and with hope waning Jackman dances from enraged to devastated in an Oscar worthy performance. Jake Gyllenhaal as the investigating officer will keep viewers on their toes as a cop who is battling his own demons, as well. A stellar supporting cast including Maria Bello, Terrence Howard and Melissa Leo provide solid support! If you have kids and watch this film, you will  probably never let them out of your sight ever after. It is truly a tough film to watch in its subject matter but worth viewing. It is not for kids, though as there is a lot of bad language. 

1. GRAVITY - And number 1 is Alfonso Cuaron's marvelous thriller Gravity which stars Sandra Bullock as a stranded astronaut just trying to stay alive after their space shuttle is destroyed by flying debris from a Russian satellite. Told in real time at 90 minutes this film is as realistic as any film I have ever seen about space (it tookl apparently 3 years to finish the special effects alone). It is a superbly crafted thriller that had me wincing, mouth open in awe of what a true battle for survival can be. Bullock (Oscar worthy, no doubt)and George Clooney are terrific together and the father and son script by Alfonso Cuaron and Jonas Cuaron is smartly written. Alfonso Cuaron's direction is top notch and Oscar worthy as well. Film score composer, Steven Price should also be considered for Oscar contention for his tremendous score for Gravity as well. Incidentally, for those curious, Gravity has been nominated for 10 Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Director for Cuarón and Best Actress for Bullock. 

So there you have it, folks. I just want to thank each and everyone one of you for reading and responding; good, bad or otherwise in 2013 at  the Websnacker Blog. Here's to a prosperous and safe 2014 with plenty of great films ready to come and plenty of stinkers to keep it real. Keep coming back for more film and film score reviews at the Websnacker Blog.

Junksista - Life Is Unfair (And Love Is A Bitch)

Addictive ElectroPop Teaser from the Enticing German Duo 

The Electro Rock German Duo Junksista are truly hard to classify but I'll try. Imagine the groovy freshness of Cardigans with the industrial rock appeal of Garbage, the undeniable danceability of Royksopp and the musical allure of Bjork all rolled into a pleasant, synthetic rock and pop mishmash. Combine this with sultry sexy vocals and explosive, extremely provocative porn laced lyrics and then, you'll have the musical genius of Junksista.

While rigid reviewers may find their lyrics a little vacuous or even obscene for the many references to sex, no one can deny that the music they create at least is truly inventive and original. Singer Diana and guitarist Boog produce a unique funky sound that oozes with sexiness, is perfect on the ear and will definitely make you hit that rewind button often!

Present here is their official video of their hit track "Life Is Unfair (And Love Is A Bitch)", a melodic song with a great tune about love in its many forms. Even more goodness can be found on their latest EP of the same name that features fantastic remixes and also on their trending album "Bad Case of Fabulous". Know more on their website or check out the facebook page now!