Relish the Past, Welcome the Future

Remember, the past is always tense, the future perfect 

This week, I was a reluctant invitee to a glitzy Christmas party - a glorified gathering less of friends and more of snobbish acquaintances - dressed in fancy clothes, indulging in fine spirits and ‘artisanal world cuisine’ whatever that actually means. Having arrived directly from my office, I was not only late but also clearly out of place - standing out from the crowd with my disheveled hair, a wrinkled cotton shirt, and crumpled khakis. 

Seeing me obviously lost, my gracious host welcomed me, consciously ignoring my faux paus and tried her best to make me feel at home. So, with a blue cocktail in hand, I mingled a bit -meeting immaculately dressed strangers, making small talk and chit chat until I found a vantage spot to sit with a boisterous Australian middle-aged couple for friendly banter. 

Let me admit, the party was not bad. after all. The décor was flamboyant yet amazing, the floating grilled starters were delicious and the fizzy drinks concocted with consistency although a little too fruity for my taste. If there was something lacking, it was the sugary retro music from the 60s and 70s with a smattering of hits from the 80s and 90s. I wouldn’t normally complain under normal circumstances but the music was a mismatch for the splendorous aura the party was trying to create. 

Listening to some of the music, reminded me of my childhood (Lionel Ritchie, Inxs, Steve Winwood, Pet Shop Boys, a little George Michael and Phil Collins for good measure too) but the rest of it was the sort of soul music my parents sometimes listened to and for a while at least the nostalgia was comforting. But, then, gradually as one aging track faded slowly into the next, it began to dawn on me that I actually wished I was somewhere else entirely. The nostalgia, you see, had run its course and I found myself, as that realization took hold, feeling suddenly wanting and hungry - to listen to current radio hits, anxious for the here, for the now, for the present. Foster the People, Cold Play and even Martin Garrix came to mind but no more Simon & Garfunkel, please. 

Think about it, funny how this struggle often occurs within each of us. Sometimes, longing for what was, faced with what is (and occasionally overcome by dreams of what's next) and sometimes, just longing for the present, for the moment. It's not so unusual really but just illustrates for some of us the motivations behind how we choose to live our lives. 

Looking back isn't such a bad thing and as my Christmas party experience points out - often offers comfort, nostalgia, and a way to stay connected with who we are and where we came from. The danger, however, is in never learning how to move beyond the then, the then of the past. How many of you have known (or know) people like that? The ones who can't ever get over whatever it is they're so connected to, running from, or longing for? Be it work, relationships, family... Sometimes, I think I am one of them. Maybe you are also one of those people, or maybe you just pity and feel sorry for them. 

And, why is it that some of us are able to appreciate our yesterdays, no matter how bad and still move forward. How are some of us able to cull the good from the bad, and thrive in the here and the now? How do we move beyond the then? In truth, who can really say. If I were to attempt an answer of any kind it would be simply that some of us want nothing more than to live. And by live, I mean so much more than life. 

And then, there are those of us for whom life offers so much that we scarcely know where to start – so much excitement, so much exploration, so much energy, so much passion, and so many opportunities. Thus, how can we possibly afford to waste too much time reveling in (or complaining about) the past when there is so much now and so much to look forward in the future.

I guess there are no right or wrong answers but I think our experiences and memories (both good and bad) and our circumstances drive our primary motivations. Very few of us are smart enough to make conscious choices or analytically study the path we choose to explore. Food for thought right? When I look back now, it's amusing how a piece of party music that evening lead me to these complex life-centric questions and surprisingly - ridiculously simple (and probable) answers. 

Lastly, as this is most likely the last blog post of 2018, let me add that this Blog for me (as its curator) - is a labor of opinions, ideas, and passion for web wanderers like you. A little ezine curating the best I can find on the web juxtaposed with my thoughts that I have attempted to keep alive over the years. It’s my creative outlet, my solace, and my escape when nothing else can be and, if I can't do it right, it isn't worth doing at all but I reassure you, I won’t kill it as many of you think I would. And believe me, I do read all your comments (even though I don’t publish them) so don’t stop sending your comments and emails. 

And with that, I won't say anything more other than I trust you'll enjoy the New Year ahead  with postivity as much as you nostalgically savor and relish the year that just went past by and all the ones before it. As the existentialist Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once said, our life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Aloha and wishing you a happy 2019 with lotsa fun, joy and success!

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