If you're bored of being single, but haven't seen anyone you fancy in months, may be you should join a hip club and visit a Singles Night. Or at least that is what I advised a lovelorn friend of mine. And I did sort of help him find his love…I know it’s a hard job but someone's gotta do it.
You don't have to be sad and desperate to go to a Singles Night, you know. I know, because I recently did accompany my friend to an exclusive ‘VIP Only’ Singles Night party, and I am neither sad nor desperate. Most of the time, anyway.
Actually, this was a superior top of its class Singles Night. A joint venture between trendy cosmetic company and even trendier pub, our VIP pass plus a fat fun fee got me and my friend a plate of fish tikka, assorted chicken snacks, a couple of drinks, a host of singing waiters, masseurs, tarot readers and astrologers, good music and guaranteed up-close-and-personal attention from loads of (apparently) single women – young teens, 30 somethings, older goldies… the whole lot. Talk about value for money.
Red, amber or green stickers were slapped on to the guests as they arrived, supposedly indicating just how single they were, exactly. Most of the women opted for amber and most of the men (who were in minority) went for green. Which says a lot about the differences between the two sexes, really.
Throwing caution to the wind, we went for …amber. It didn't make any difference, to be honest. My companion and I had no sooner ordered our snacks and found a table, than a couple of young (and drunk) women scooted over to join us. And after that they just kept on coming' and comin.
That's the great thing about going to a Singles Night – everyone there knows that everyone else is there for the same reason as they are (if you know what I mean), so any inhibitions are merrily cast to the wind. There's none of those situations you get in bars, when you think you spy a half-sexy woman looking at you, but an hour later and she still hasn't come over or winked a eye And then you realize she's actually so drunk she's gone cross-eyed. Or maybe that's just me. Whatever. Getting back to the Singles Night, the key word here is talent. Or rather, lack of it.
You see, although there were lots of women there, none of them were remotely fanciable. Trust me. They really weren't. Maybe that's because this particular party was a bit too bad for my friend, so braces, bad make up and beer-guts were the order of the day.
Looking on the bright side (and I always try to) at least some of them were hot and I did manage to hookup one for my friend (but it didn’t last more than 10 minutes). So, on the one hand, is kind of a shame. But, on the other hand, not. Oh well. Anyways, I wish him better luck next time….